a letter to my little boy...

[a letter I wrote Jaxon for his second birthday for his journal and to keepsake it. I share it here so that it ends up in our family blogbook]

Dear Jaxon,

It’s your mommy, writing you a letter than one day you’ll be able to read. Somehow those long sleepless nights, turned into days of you crawling and talking and running around… the months quickly turned to years and suddenly you are two! Two years ago that we became us, a little family of three. I can hardly believe how 24 months have flown by! I always dreamed about having a baby, I always wanted a little boy, I never imagined him to be as perfect as you are to me. I never really thought that he’d have those curls like you do, or that he could possibly be as handsome as you, or could turn a bad day, perfect, with that big bright smile, your happy-go-lucky personality and "I wuv you mama" moments we share. I never really understood how unconditional and perfect love could be, until I had you.

You are such a big boy now, learning more each day and surprising your daddy and me with everything you say and do. I want to remember the funny things you do, the silly things you say, and the times I wish I could just pause life and bottle that moment up with you, that it will never go away. I want to remember when I come into your room each morning that you patiently wait for me to get you out of bed, and as soon as I open the door you have the biggest smile on your face and you giggle, while jumping up and down in your crib so happy to see me. I want to remember the way you put your hand up in the air to say “I love you” trying to sign I love you like daddy and I always do, as you say “I wuv woo”. I want to remember how concerned you are when something is dirty, and you want to clean it up, you’ve been putting dishes in the sink and taking trash to the trash can for months now and you think it’s the greatest thing- I KNOW this won’t last forever as you will soon discover it is a “chore”. I want to remember the sweet kisses you give, how daddy and I can just point to our cheeks and say “right here” and you will give us a great big kiss. I want to remember how incredibly good you are every time we go to a restaurant, always staying in your high chair or booster and being such a good boy. I don't ever want to forget the way you light up when daddy comes home, the way you cuddle with him, the trust you have in him and having such an amazing bond with him. I look forward to watching that grow throughout the years, for I know what a great daddy he is and how much fun you two will always have together. I want to remember how one day when I sat you in your high chair for breakfast you sat there with your arms folded, just staring at me until I said a prayer with you… and every day since how YOU are the first at each meal to fold your arms, waiting patiently until the prayer is said, before we start eating. I want to remember those weekends daddy is in Washington and it’s just you and me for the weekend, the good times we have, memories we make, going to the park and having you by my side as we get all the errands done, and the skype dates with daddy… how when I put you to bed those nights, you cannot go to bed before we say prayers, kiss daddy’s picture frame, and say “nighty, nights” to the picture of Jesus, and the temple, and how you cuddle up in bed... YOU are an amazing sleeper, perfectly, quietly and never making a peep until 9, sometimes 10 in the morning, and getting a 3-5 hour nap at the same time every single day! I want to remember how much you LOVE being outside, riding your radio flyer, playing t-ball with daddy, throwing the football back and forth with mama, going on walks, and drives and hikes and visiting friends, and parks… if we go “bye-bye”, you are always happy about whatever adventure we’re on, sometimes even clapping as soon as we pull into a parking lot, because you are so excited to go “in” wherever we are. I want to remember how independent you are becoming, how you want to wash your own hair in the bathtub, how you want to help get dressed, and put your own shoes on, how you want to help buckle your car seat, and carry the keys anywhere we go, how you climb up in the high chair all by yourself, and when it’s time to vacuum you want to do it, how you don’t need our help with so many things anymore that you used to. Just recently you starting “shushing” daddy and me when we’re talking, I can’t help but laugh! We’ll be having a conversation, and out of the blue you’ll put your finger over your mouth going “shhh, shhh, shhh” and then you laugh and continue on. I LOVE you for that, because you have such an awesome personality and know how to make things fun already. You LOVE your stuffed animals, there is “max the monkey” that you’ve had since day one, he is your little buddy, while watching movies, on road trips, and always your lovey at night when you go to bed. You also have Scout the bear and Doug the doggie, and you Mickey Mouse’s, you love them so much… sometimes you want ALL of them in bed with you, or you set them all on the couch if you’re going to watch a cartoon. You’ve really started to cling to monkey and your Cars “banky” that you’ve always had. Speaking of Cars, you are obsessed with anything to do with Cars, the movie, all of your matchbox cars and you love your new racetracks. If we are in a store and you see something to do with Cars you get so excited exclaiming “car, cars, cars”. Sometimes you insist when I get you out of bed in the morning that Monkey and blanky need to come along… as you drag them down the hallway and downstairs to sit on the couch while you have breakfast in your high chair. You are also obsessed with anything football, and I really shouldn’t be surprised, but it amazes me how much you see it. You love wearing your football shirts, you love playing football, you get excited when daddy has football on tv and you literally get upset if he changes the channel. If we are out and about and you see anything “buball” you have to shout out and tell us all about it one hundred times. We can’t go anywhere without getting compliments on your curly hair and your bright blue eyes. You seem to be shy the closer strangers are to you, but if they keep their distance you will wave and smile and say hi.

From the moment you were born everyone told us that it only gets better, and I thought there was no way. Life seemed perfect. You seemed perfect, but as these two years have passed in the blink of an eye, I now see how life with you is more perfect every day. You are so special to us. You are a child of God and He sent you to us at the most perfect time and we are the luckiest parents in the world to call you ours forever! My heart is growing with you each day. I still can’t imagine how I can love you anymore than I do now, but I know it will happen and that makes me happy.

Thank you, Jaxon for being such a light in my life, for loving the way you do and reminding me daily what is most important. I love you so much.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as forever, my baby you'll be"

Love, your mama